My Wendy Fan Out

I don’t believe in gossip, but truth be told, we all do it at one time or another.  I admire radio and talk show host Wendy Williams for her hustle and for echoing the sentiments of our people in a “keeping it real” kind of way. Her personality is infectious, and even through the TV screen she makes you feel like you know her. Her 10th book was released this month and I had been anticipating getting to meet her for the past week or so at her book signing in Atlanta.

The Demand

My daughter and I arrived at Barnes & Noble 90 minutes early, and finding a place to park was a beast! When we got inside, I was shocked to learn that Ask Wendy was sold out! There were apologetic signs on the entry doors, too.

On her national talk show, Wendy has been telling folks that she’s coming to the Barnes & Noble store on Peachtree Rd in Buckhead all week. They didn’t think that would amount to much?

Just Checking Up on You

Credit: nwcovna.org/

I was grateful to be able to talk to my mother on Mother’s Day (yesterday), but some people no longer have their mother physically with them due to various health challenges and tragedies. In the past I’ve talked about my mother’s unplanned open heart surgery, the stress of depression (including why the stigma against therapy hurts the black community), and the recent murder of my stepson’s mother.

The Start of Something Big: My Life in April 2013

April 2013 was a great month for me. My life has taken some awesome, positive, encouraging turns. I completed the A to Z Challenge with 26 new posts in one month! Here’s a few other highlights:

 

• I ran a free promotion on my first book with Amazon Kindle. It hit #1 that week.
• I reached my 25 lb milestone on Weight Watchers, after battling a plateau for the past few months. (I’m less than 2 lbs from my goal weight.)
• Turbokick has taken a temporary backseat as I’ve taken up running into my workout routine.  I completed a 6K, and felt unstoppable. I believe running 3 to 4 times a week has helped me break my plateau.
• My forthcoming book cover is complete. The book is in editorial now–still on track for a summer release.
• Made some great connections while networking, which I haven’t done since last year. One of those connections resulted in a spotlight on People You Need to Know Women’s Magazine. I’m expecting more fruit from additional contacts as well.
• Reconnected with two people I’ve loved, and made peace with them.
• Had an awesome, fun visit from my sister, whom I last saw a few months ago when I surprised her for her birthday.  I love my family!!

I’m feeling really grateful about something else that’s pretty promising, but I’m going to hold my tongue for a bit. Can you guess what it is?

What are your plans for May?

Zoom Zip Zing–In the Zone!

When starting this A to Z Challenge on April 1, I didn’t know where I was going to pull 26 blog posts from. I schedule myself time to draw up an editorial calendar so I can plan out my content, but I mostly write here when inspired. My thanks to all the new readers and subscribers (some of whom are also victors in the Challenge). I received more consistent comments in this one month than most of the 6-year history of Daree’s Insights.

You’re a Liar

Are you lying to yourself about something? Self-deception is the worst kind. Check out the following guest post from my friend, author, speaker and coach Jack A. Daniels.
+++++++++++++
Ever told a lie before?

I’ve helped a lot of people and will tell you that people find the most creative ways to lie to themselves.

Xavier, DMX and Iyanla

Xavier Simmons and his famous father, rapper DMX (“Dead Man X”) were recently featured on an episode of OWN’s “Iyanla Fix My Life.” DMX admitted that he has done drugs most of his life and cheated on his wife numerous times, having 7 children with other women (in addition to theirs).

His oldest child (with his estranged wife) is now a man in search of a healthy relationship with his father. Unfortunately Xavier’s wish was not fulfilled–at least not yet. DMX was unwilling to accept Xavier’s request to get off drugs in order to have a healthy relationship with him. His attitude and speech was (I am paraphrasing)- “You can accept me as I am [an unrecovered addict] or else forget it.” DMX also cursed Iyanla numerous times and walked out on the interview repeatedly. He’s facing a lot of demons, and it was hard to watch.

Warring Against the Odds

What follows is a guest post from a man who is playing a tug of war in his relationship with his firstborn daughter, which is being threatened by her mother. If you can relate, please feel free to comment.

+++++++++++++++++++
As a non-custodial parent, I can attest to the battle that rages every day in courtrooms and living rooms around this country over issues of child support, child custody, and more.  These private wars take on a life of their own when you add in lawyers, judges, counselors, evaluators, case handlers, etc.; all people will little to no interest in the actual outcome of the decisions they make or the lives they affect.

Source: Ontario Family Law Blog

I don’t like having third parties involved in matters affecting my child, but there’s something I dislike even more.  That’s coming to the realization that my child’s mother has been mentally poisoning my child to believe that she is a victim of some kind and that daddy hates mommy.  I was shocked when I realized that matters handled at the courthouse were being discussed and shared openly with this child.

When asked why she would be sharing this with a pre-teen, the mother’s response was “well, she deserves to know what’s going on with her.  Since this affects her, she has a right to know.”  Really?  I don’t think so.

Vanessa Williams’ Love Revelations

I read Vanessa Williams’ book You Have No Idea last year, which is a memoir she co-wrote with her mother.  It’s kind of unique in that for many stories “Ness” tells, her mother also gives her view of how it went it down–usually in terms of Vanessa’s romantic relationships and the infamous Miss America/Penthouse scandal in 1984. Because I’m just a few months away from my own book on relationships (from the male POV), I thought I’d highlight a few things Ness said in her book, from and about the men she loved the most.

Uncomfortable? Get Used to It

“… but that’s the way we’ve always done it.”
“I’m not as good as s/he is.”
“It’s too hard.”
“What if it doesn’t work?”
“I’m not sure I can do this…”
“You want ME to… ????”

Whether you’re in a meeting with others or all by your lonesome, you will hear that voice sooner or later. The voice that doubts you. That second-guesses a great idea. The voice that can kill dreams.
If you listen.

Touching Private Parts

Have you ever been a family gathering and someone told a child to hug someone that they did not want to hug? I’m really sensitive about things like that because I feel like it can open the door for child abuse by teaching children to allow others, especially older children or adults or those “in authority” to touch them when and when it makes them feel uncomfortable. A hug hello or goodbye may be innocent, but what about if the child really doesn’t know or like that person and then it goes further?

When K was really small I taught her that no one should be looking at her touching her private parts *unless we are at the doctors office and I am right next to her the whole time. If something like this happens when I’m not around she knows that is ALWAYS ok for her to come to me and tell me what happened, and that she should tell me right away and I will believe her and I will still love her it is not her fault. I have never been sexually abused, but her father was molested as a child and when he told his family members they would not believe him or address it. I learned from him that the pain from those horrific experiences never goes away 100%. It’s 2013 and people still think they can look at a person and tell whether or not they are a child molester. It also seems that people these days still go around with an attitude like “Oh that doesn’t happen anymore” or “That doesn’t happen to anyone that I know.”  Those myths allow pedophilia and sexual assault perpetuate in our society.