The wait is over! I am officially an author–two times over!
As I mentioned 2 weeks ago, today is the day of my dual book launch! While people are celebrating Valentine’s Day or going about their business, I am happy, excited, ecstatic and proud to revel in this accomplishment. If you haven’t already, please do browse my one-month-old re-launched website, check out my upcoming appearances, read unbiased reviews of my book, and participate in the special giveaway going on all week!
With about one month to go until my book launch (on Valentine’s Day 2012), I’m announcing the blog tour for the book! To visit the tour stops and/or request me to visit your blog, check my blog tour page for all the details.
Credit: National Geographic
I met the author of Healed Without Scars last week. Carlos Phillips and his wife met Desi* and I last week at an IHOP near Fort Worth, TX. Together, the four of us discussed how men deal with relationships, what happens when they divorce, and how they can regroup, heal with God’s help, and bring their families back together.
Carlos gave me a copy of his book which I read on the plane ride home to Atlanta. With his blessing I am sharing my thoughts on some of the points in his book, in the hopes that you can glean from insight from his story of divorce and remarriage after he healed without any trace of brokenness. Carlos spent 7 years being a single father to two sons before he met his new wife in 2006. They married one year later, to the day!
Healed Without Scars reads as a frank testimony to some of the situations Carlos found himself in, and the lessons he learned about himself. I think many men will identify with it. (Even I, as a divorced woman, can see many of the point he makes in my own experience.) This book is not just for divorced men; it will benefit any man who is looking for a healthy, long-term relationship. It gives insight and hope, and it makes you think about your role in your relationships. Read the rest of this entry »
I’m pleased to be featured in Goddess Magazine‘s August/September 2011 issue: Back To School Edition (pp. 22-23).
Many thanks to Sydney Bennett for doing the interview, and to Founder/Editor-In-chief Danielle Wideman, MBA. She and her team are doing a wonderful job of spotlighting girl advocates and promoting healthy self-esteem and other positive behaviors for our girls and young women.
The first time I read the Bible all the way through, I was 8 years old. Needless to say, I didn’t understand everything I read back then, but as I grew in Christ and became more knowledgeable, I realized that consistent study of the Word equips you in ways you never imagine. The Bible is, after all, the sword of the Spirit. You don’t usually internalize something just from reading it or hearing it only once. So regular study is a discipline that I have resumed this year. Ideally, I’d like to set aside quiet time for it daily, but I give myself the grace to miss a day here or there.
In 2007 I attended a 9-week women’s bible study on the book of Esther, right around the time the movie One Night With the King, (somewhat based on Esther), was released. I still have those notes, but decided to study the book again for another 9 weeks using Beth Moore’s guide, entitled Esther: It’s Tough Being a Woman. Moore approached the book in a totally different way, and I’ve just finished it. My initial hope was that I would gain a lot of insight into Esther’s redeeming character traits, plus anything new revelations God wanted to send my way for this season in my life. After all, a lot has happened in my life since ’07.
One of the things that strikes me, despite no mention of God in the whole book, is His presence in Esther’s life from beginning to end. She was a female, an orphan, and a Jew– three things that would normally give someone of her time unfavorable status. Although she was very beautiful, she was also wise and humble. God’s favor and His hand in her life were apparent from the very first mention of her in Chapter 2 (there are 10 dramatic chapters in all). It started with the position Esther took on (she was crowned Queen of Persia in 479 B.C.), wisdom in conflict “for such a time as this,” (Es 4:14) and the resulting establishment of the Jewish celebration of Purim (473 B.C.).
God’s presence and providence are shown throughout the book, as several ironies unfold and scripts are flipped. I specifically remember in these last few years how God turned my feelings of depression, entrapment, hopelessness, and discouragement to happiness, freedom, hope, and optimism. (Followers of this blog can see my progression.) How has God turned the tables in your life of late? If you’re coming up blank, what would you like to see change?
Below are some notes from Moore’s study that I think can stand alone without the context of the story of Esther. For those of you unfamiliar with the story, these snippets won’t give it all away. I encourage you to read it for yourself– you’ll be blessed.
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Meanness always identifies a threat, whether it’s real or imagined. (Haman)
Because Satan has a limited leash where believers are concerned (God and Satan > Job 1), his most powerful tactics are psychological. He can profoundly and destructively influence our thoughts (if we let him).
God designed conviction to be uncomfortable so that we would hurry to repentance and find relief in restoration.
God told His people (the Israelites) from the time of Moses that He’d protect them and fight their battles for them as long as they worshipped Him only. If they forgot Him, He would still love them but not shield them; He used their enemies to turn His people back to Him. [God has blessed me tremendously, but He never lets me go too long without reminding me, through various circumstances, that I need Him every day of my life.]
We are significant. We may not have the title of “King/Queen,” but we are royalty and have been placed in our own sphere of influence no matter how great or small, “for such a time as this.” (See also Ephesians 1:1.) [Our lives matter more than we know, hope, or realize!]
You are not called to live an easy life, but a purposeful one. When you walk in your purpose, you will have to make some of the most difficult decisions of our lives. Just when we think we can’t do it, God steps in and does something miraculous, and we become something that we’re not, and “Who knows?” becomes “I know.”
Fasting with prayer allows you to wholeheartedly focus your petition before God. Refusing sustenance demonstrates desperation and sincerity to receive direction and deliverance.
In a crisis situation, there is no neutral position. Failure to decide brings personal loss and misses the opportunity to fulfill God’s purpose. [No decision is a decision.] Failure to decide is to decide on failure.
Our distrust of God tells our enemy exactly how to get to us.
Ironically, a person is never less aware of divine intervention than when s/he has been chosen to render it.
We don’t realize that our stronghold can be a person until it is one. A person becomes a snare to us anytime s/he consumes an excessive or unhealthy space in our thoughts (negative or positive). [Who is your obsession?] It’s not the person that emotionally masters us– it’s our thoughts about the person that emotionally master us.
Admitting you have an area of brokenness is a huge first step toward wholeness.
If the Jews had been annihilated, Jesus could not have come from their bloodline. Why do you think Satan tried so often to destroy the Jews? Jesus was a threat to him.
God cannot break His promises. His Word is not only His bond but His very breath.
There is shelter in the Most High (see also Ps 91), in whom we find our significance and the only satisfaction of our insatiable need to be noticed.
In the end, people don’t get away with murder or its premeditation.
Sometimes God wants to show us what we can do rather than let us find someone who can do it for us.
Getting the credit is the wrong reason to do the right thing.
Every time God shifts us/our circumstances around, He’s not just fulfilling His own pleasure (Phil 2:13) but He’s also working every detail, good and bad, for our good (Rom 8:28). No matter what evils schemes come against us, God will work it out, work it in, and work it well. (God specializes in reversals.)
I believe in the sun, even when it is not shining.
I believe in love, even when I do not feel it.
I believe in God, even when He is silent. ~ Author Unknown
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How you ever been were you aware of being placed in a situation or position for a critical purpose (“for such a time as this”)? Did you expect God to use you? Have you ever seen Him turn the tables and ‘flip the script’ in your favor?
You can call her Coffy, Jackie Brown, or Sheba, Baby. But most of know her as the beautiful, sexy, take-no-shorts blaxploitation heroine Foxy Brown. The inspiration for rapper Inga Marchand‘s moniker.
Pam Grier. The real Foxy Brown.
My Dad had a ton of movies with her and others on VHS (I’m dating myself), and he allowed me to watch them when I was a teenager. I’m a 70′s baby and I had no idea who the woman behind Foxy was, but I’ve always admired her. Pam’s memoir, Foxy: My Life in Three Acts filled me in quite a bit. Here are some highlights and lowlights.
Around Christmastime last year, I had a great hour-long chat with Pulitzer-prize winning author and journalist, Karen Hunter of Karen Hunter Publishing. If you watch the video below, the same way she’s talking there is the same way she talked to me: straight up.
She didn’t know me from Adam but was not hesitant to take the time to answer my questions about getting started as a freelance writer, the business of writing and publishing for Blacks in particular. She shared her background and wisdom with me, and many of the things she imparted to me then were also mentioned in this book (which was then unreleased), Stop Being Niggardly: And Nine Other Things Black People Need to Stop Doing. In this post I’ll give you some of the highlights, but in short, this book is a must-read, and more importantly, a must-DO.
When Karen started her own publishing house, she reached out to her contacts for support, but didn’t get it. I was surprised when she mentioned
Earl G. Graves, Sr. (Image courtesy of BlackEnterprise.com)
Earl Graves as one of those people (he is the founder and publisher of Black Enterprise magazine). She talked about how Blacks can be so niggardly (definition: stingy—watch the video above or look it up) and try to hold each other back from progress and success.
Karen gives us a brief history lesson in explaining the racial categories we give ourselves here in America. The perceived origins of Latinos, Dominicans, Haitians, Blacks, and Jews have more in common than you might think (certainly more than I knew).
I can relate all too well to Karen’s story about going broke and having to downsize (for her she had to move back home; for me it was moving from a house to an apartment). The key is the recognize when you’re going too deep in debt and to Stop Digging.
How many of you are familiar with Suze Orman’s mantra, “People first, then money, then things”? It’s not just a saying that she closes her show with, it should be a way of life.
In the book, Karen says, “ How you handle your money indicates how your life is going. If you have chaos on your job and in your life, your money is guaranteed to be a mess…. Money is an outward display of the discipline and standards of your life.”
Unfortunately personal finance is not taught in school. The only examples we have to go on as children are what we learn at home and see in our neighborhoods. We have to learn to respect our money if we’re going to be successful in life. Read the rest of this entry »
Platinum by Aliya S. King (originally titled No Tea for the Fever) was released earlier this month, and it only took me a whopping three days to finish (’cause I’m in the middle of trying to relocate this week). This is the first fiction book I have read in YEARS. I’m all about inspiration, how-to, gaining knowledge, and promoting self-help, but when Aliya previewed the premise of the book and its cover on her blog, I knew right away that I was going to dig in, and dig in quickly.
Full disclosure: I’m biased. I am one of Aliya’s “dear readers” of her blog. So this is not really a review, it’s more like an overview. I should have called it “A Look at ..” or “My thoughts on…” She has much knowledge and candid insight about the writing biz for those of us on the come-up. And I consider her one of many writer/journalist/author “friends in my head”. I read “Keep the Faith” and loved it. Much later I was fascinated when Aliya finally sat down to explain to her writer fans how it came about. (Side note– she also mentioned that she’ll be working Faith on a new project very soon–yay! Honestly, I don’t know how she gets any sleep.)
Karrine Steffans
The story consists of rappers, the women who love them, and a video vixen that connects them. A younger generation of hip hop and R&B is involved. Families and groupie love comes into play. Lots of blurred lines here. Politics and self-doubt. Gossip vs. ethics. Self-respect, infidelity and loyalty. Other reviews give away more than I’m about to. The climax of the story comes when a rapper’s wife tells a journalist that she wishes she could escape all the drama and heartache of her life as it is now, and go back to the way things were when she and her husband were broke but happy. An R&B star and her BFF (a cheating rapper’s wife) also share similar sentiments.
Platinum is definitely the stuff movies are made of, like a biopic, or in a “based on a true story” kind of way. But I told you I’m not giving away much of the plot. However, I do have some questions, which Aliya may address in the sequel.
If you haven’t read the book, you might not want to read any further (IOW, spoiler alert!). Aliya, or any Platinum readers that can help me out with these, please be my guest. (The answers may be right under my nose, but I don’t read books twice—too many to keep with.)
What do you think about Platinum? Let’s discuss!
Tina and Erica Campbell (Mary Mary)
I am a fan of Mary Mary (Erica and Tina Campbell). I saw them perform in Washington D.C. upon the release of their first album, and have always admired their fearless, classy portrayal of the God in them. I knew this book was geared for young people, but I am writing a book for teen girls so I decided to check out Be U to see if there was anything that prompted me to write on another subject, or see if there was anything I left out of my work. Although I enjoyed the book overall, as it contained a lot of spiritual reminders, unfortunately, I also discovered some things that I thought the Campbell sisters left out.
First, let me say that this book is very easy to read for all ages. It has the format of a devotional, with a page of scripture, a page and half that is a message from one of the sisters, and then 3-4 pages of questions and space for answers (like a journal). The sisters cleverly use their song titles for their chapter themes. The messages don’t go into a lot of depth—they are brief enough to read quickly, but get the point across.
The most touching and powerful anecdotes were those of Erica’s husband overcoming cancer, and Tina dealing with having to leave her preemie daughter in the hospital for almost a month until she could come home (that had to seem like forever!). However, I don’t know if young people can really relate to such stories. I thought some “youth-friendly” stories were missing, and I’m sure Erica & Tina had some, as they come from a big family.
I saw Tina on The Mo’Nique Show to promote this book, and have heard both sisters on radio interviews too—they are always on point. But I wish the Q&A chapter had more questions about practical, youth-friendly issues. From an editorial standpoint, I noticed a few typos in this chapter as well (not to be picky, but I’m a technical writer–I can’t help but notice these things).
Something else that is very important is missing from this book—how to invite Jesus to become your personal Lord and Savior. I think this book assumes that every young person who picks it up is “churched” and understands terms like “grace” and so on. Be U is a nice overview for youth who want to or need to begin developing a personal quiet time of devotion with God. I hope this book plants a seed that will make them want to stay connected to God and commit to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
Oscar-nominated, Grammy-award-winning actress and hip hop royalty Queen Latifah just released her second self-help book, Put On Your Crown: Life-Changing Moments on the Path to Queendom, last month (Ladies First was her first book, with Karen Hunter). In it, the first hip hop artist on the Walk of Fame takes just under 200 pages to discuss her career strides and life lessons as “a series of moments.” I’ll highlight just a few here, but I have indicated a few spoiler alerts along the way. If you don’t want to know too much detail, skip the rest of those paragraphs where noted and go to the next.
Latifah has been rhyming about empowerment since she was a teenager (“Ladies First”) and one of my favorite anthems from her is 1993’s “U.N.I.T.Y.” She even starred in and sung the theme song to the TV show 
Living Single (a precursor to NBC’s Friends). She released a new album this year called Persona, but the only song I’ve heard from it is the one she performed on The Mo’Nique Show recently—I’m not hearing the urban stations showing it any love. But I’ve always liked her and respected her for her classy, positive image. If you follow this blog, you also know that I love her perfume, too!
But I digress—back to the book.
I read Put On Your Crown in a few hours, and enjoyed its conversational tone and simplistic chapter titles (e.g., “Beauty,” “Money,” “ Joy”). Latifah covers several topics, such as paying attention to your finances (SPOILER ALERT #1) Latifah went broke 10 years ago because she didn’t pay attention to bookkeeping). This story reminded me of when MC Hammer went bankrupt for “helping” so many people at the height of his “You Can’t Touch This”-ness (I think was coming from a good place, and Latifah echoed similar feelings about putting her crew on and supporting more people than she should have.)
Another year, after her parents separated, her family downsized and temporarily moved to the projects. (SPOILER ALERT #2) It was disheartening to read how her family’s things—everything—was stolen in broad daylight. And on Christmas Eve of that same year, all the presents that her mother worked 3 jobs to pay for were stolen from the trunk of her car. And unfortunately, material possessions and coping as a child of divorce were not the only losses she had to deal with.
