The Rights You Didn’t Know You Had to Fight For

 

Credit: Amanda Pelser, ThePelsers.com

Did you know that as a parent in the U.S.,you do NOT have the fundamental right to decide what’s best for your children?

Up until I attended a session at the Georgia Homeschool Education Association (GHEA) conference this month, I didn’t know this. The government can at any time decide what’s best for your child, take action now and (maybe) apologize later (1).
In a showing of the movie Overruled, I watched three real cases where parental rights were negated:

• A cop removed dad from a school when he simply asked for his child to be able to opt out of a program that familiarized/normalized the children in his son’s Kindergarten class to families with two parents of the same sex (2).
• After they paid for medical treatment, parents were told they could not get the results of the medical results for their 13-year-old son without his consent. (HIPAA backs this.)
• A 13-year-old boy complained of emotional distress because his parents took him to church three times a week. He was immediately removed from the school where he confided in his guidance counselor, and placed into temporary foster care over the weekend without his parents being notified. Later, a judge told the parents to be careful, respect the child’s wishes, and take him to church no more than once a week, because that was plenty.

Touching Private Parts

Have you ever been a family gathering and someone told a child to hug someone that they did not want to hug? I’m really sensitive about things like that because I feel like it can open the door for child abuse by teaching children to allow others, especially older children or adults or those “in authority” to touch them when and when it makes them feel uncomfortable. A hug hello or goodbye may be innocent, but what about if the child really doesn’t know or like that person and then it goes further?

When K was really small I taught her that no one should be looking at her touching her private parts *unless we are at the doctors office and I am right next to her the whole time. If something like this happens when I’m not around she knows that is ALWAYS ok for her to come to me and tell me what happened, and that she should tell me right away and I will believe her and I will still love her it is not her fault. I have never been sexually abused, but her father was molested as a child and when he told his family members they would not believe him or address it. I learned from him that the pain from those horrific experiences never goes away 100%. It’s 2013 and people still think they can look at a person and tell whether or not they are a child molester. It also seems that people these days still go around with an attitude like “Oh that doesn’t happen anymore” or “That doesn’t happen to anyone that I know.”  Those myths allow pedophilia and sexual assault perpetuate in our society.

Ending the Blame Game: New Book Coming Soon!

In 2011, my cousin asked me if I would write a book that gives black men a voice in relationships and allow them to speak out, uninterrupted.

 
Ending the Blame Game is compiled from interviews from of educated black men who are single, divorced or remarried with one thing in common: they have experienced single fatherhood and desire to lead a loving black family, and they want to share their voice. Their stories give women insight into the minds of single black fathers who want to be a part of a cohesive family unit, and just want to tell their side of the story. Who says men don’t want to talk? Whether its infidelity, lack of father figures, child support, divorce, breakdown in communication and overall attitudes about the black male-female dynamic, they’ve got it covered.

 
In their own voices, each single father featured shares and discusses what they perceive as obstacles to healthy, committed relationships; instilling their own confidence as men; ways that black women can be supportive of them; how to foster better communication; and how to create a nurturing environment for healthy relationships. But that’s not the end-all-be all: at the end of each chapter is an expert’s analysis, tips, and suggestions for solutions.

 
Special thanks to all of my friends who gave me input on various book cover mock-ups last month.  I’ll give you all updates and what to expect over the coming months.

Thanksgiving, Thanksblessings, and Buy Nothing

Source: Buy Nothing Day UK

You might call the day after Thanksgiving “Black Friday” (I call it my birthday–at least this year). But what you may not know is that it’s also known as International Buy Nothing Day (Nov. 23 – Nov. 24). I want to put this at the forefront of my post today because merchants are going hard starting their Black Friday sales early, and I’ve got a different kind of message post on Black Friday.

Thanks-and-Giving: It’s Your Voice – Use It

What are your thoughts about tomorrow’s election in the United States? That’s today’s question for #NaBloPoMo on BlogHer.

Unprecendented Stakes

The scrutiny, criticism, and yes, prejudice that President Obama has faced since he campaigned for his first term is at a level unlike any other before him, yet he handles it with grace and integrity. Although my vote is still for Obama, I’m not a straight-down-the-line-Democrat, because no one political party has the same belief system. Although I love God, practice Christianity and I am pro-family values, I have no qualms about my support for our president, even when he supports ideologies that I don’t.

Black August

The following is a repost of an interview with Kalonji Changa, author of the new book, “How to Build a People’s Army” about Black August. I met him a few months ago at a Feed the People gathering. In addition to founding the Feed the People Movement, he is also the East Coast Committee Organizer for Happily Natural Day, which takes place annually in Richmond, VA and Atlanta, GA and in its 32 year.

It is my pleasure to share this information with all my readers. I hope it will enlighten you as it did me.

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Why is there such a thing as a Black August celebration? Where did this tradition come from? When did it start and how was it celebrated originally?

The first thing we would like to state is that we commemorate Black August, not celebrate it.  We don’t want people to think that it is a party or just an event.  Black August is about resistance.  The concept of Black August developed inside the California prisons, under the leadership of men like George Jackson, W.L. Nolan, and Khatari Gaulden, who were all murdered in California prisons.  As taught to us by the OG’s (Original Guerrillas), Black August was a response to the need of Afrikan prisoners to form a principled and effective political unity to combat the racism and genocide against Afrikan people behind the walls.  Black August began in 1979, one year after the murder of Khatari Gaulden.  As part of Black August brothers fasted the days of the assassinations of the comrades (24-hour fast). On the other days, they fasted until sundown. Physical training and education was increased.  As part of our observation and commemoration of Black August we continue that tradition til this very day.  We encourage others who want to observe Black August to work out an exercise routine for each day either individually or in groups and to not use any drugs or alcoholic beverages during the entire month.

Helping the Hungry

This past week has been absolutely nonstop for me, but one of the most rewarding things I did was participate in a Feed the People event. March 27, 2011 was the  3rd Annual National Feed The People Weekend, and we started the assembly that morning at the Othello Event Hall in Atlanta.

 
First a little background–the Feed The People (FTP) Program  is a grassroots organization that began in 2004. Since then, FTP has served over 100,000 meals and hygienic care packages in several cities including Los Angeles, San Diego and parts of Canada. FTP accepts donations of hygiene kit supplies (think samples of toiletries, new underwear and socks, feminine hygiene products, diapers, baby wipes), bottled water, fruit, sandwiches, clothing and more, as well as monetary donations.
At Othello, we formed assembly lines and put the lunches and kits together before heading out in a long line of cars to different spots in the downtown area. Along the way, we stopped at an underpass for the first distribution, and I teared up a bit. It’s been a long time since I went to a shelter or a park to deliver things to the homeless, and my first time doing so in this city. As I explained to my daughter K, an only child who doesn’t have lack in her life, everyone needs help sometime. When I think about it, most of us don’t have an adequate amount of savings, and are only a few paychecks away from poverty.

 
I was proudly amazed at K’s willingness to jump in the sandwich line to prepare the brown bag lunches, and to hand out supplies in the neighborhood. I also am looking forward to doing it all over again next month.

 
Wanna get involved? FTP meets every 2nd and 4th Sunday of the month.

Who’s Your Neighbor?

Source: OJO Images

One of the concerns my mother had about moving to Atlanta alone with my child last year is that I didn’t “have anyone” there to help me. I have a couple of family members and friends that rarely see, but no one I could 100% unequivocally count on nearby (the metro area is vast) like her.

I quickly and easily began to befriend people via meetup groups, Toastmasters, and social networks. And my daughter K quickly made friends with kids in our apartment complex with whom she rides the school bus every day. But the one friend she always checks for and hangs with is a few years younger, and not in even school yet. K treats this girl, A, like the little sister always wanted but never had.

My Vice

Some people hoard clothes, music, food, make-up, or toiletries. Well, I have a confession. I am a magazine junkie. Magazines are my second favorite kind of mail (the #1 fave is free samples).

I have no less than 17 mag subscriptions—some of which I haven’t received yet because they’re so new—and I’ve initiated almost half of them in the past three months. I’ve only paid for four of these subscriptions (ranging from $5-$12 for one year), and the rest were from special online offers where I had a code, or redeeming miles I’ve accumulated from different airlines. I’d have more subscriptions if I weren’t cheap ($1/issue is my price point).

I love the pictures. I love the escapism. I love the ideas that come to me as I peruse the pages or contemplate the issues being presented. I like to be enlightened and inspired.

The mag titles cover an array of interests, from entertainment to lifestyle to home care to shopping to news, health, business—you get the idea.

Print is Not Dead

The publishing industry talks about how print mags are dying as people turn more and more to online content, but mags are still very much alive. (AUTHOR’S NOTE: This link used to be unrestricted but in any case is still valid if you have an account.) The video below colorfully illustrates 20 tweetable truths about magazines (in short, the message is that magazine industry as a whole is still thriving, with new ones being born regularly.)

VIBE magazine, one of my favorites, recently found me (the original operations shut down in June 2009, but was revived in December 2009, without having received the old subscriber info). The cover included an offer to resume VIBE for a year for free (it mentioned “select subscribers only.”) I signed up and popped that postcard back in the mail with the quickness. I started getting their very first issue when I was a freshman in college, so receiving that 15th Anniversary Juice issue with Em and Dre was like being reunited with an old friend.

Who Do You Represent?

Don’t you love the music award shows? There’s so many of them now, but often, the winner will come to the stage, and either at the beginning or the end of their speech, thank God “for making this all possible” or “for giving me this gift” (their voice). Similar discussions arise during celebrity interviews.

But oh how often we misuse our gifts. We know that our blessings, gifts, and talents come from the Creator, but we misrepresent him by the things we choose to do with our gifts and talents.

Is the Music World Going to Hell in a Handbasket?

I used to know everything about music videos when I was growing up. I loved them (see this post). But as I’ve settled into my 30s, I’ve really slacked off and haven’t kept up with videos. I’ll glance at BET or check online every now and then if I hear buzz about a video, but I won’t sit and watch them for hours and learn the choreography (if there is any) like I used to.

So one day I’m on Twitter and several people post a link for “the moment you’ve been waiting for—the world premiere of Lady Gaga and Beyonce in Telephone”!

Huh? I wasn’t aware that they had another song together.