We Have Been Cleared for Takeoff!: D.A.R.E.E. Website Relaunch

I’m so excited to finally unveil announce the relaunch of the all-new DareeAllen.com!

It’s been a really close call, as I’m 30 days from my “dual” book release date. Along the way, I’ve been with not 1, not 2, but 4 different web developers in the past 3 months (!!) trying to get my site updated. I almost liken it to the dreaded “dating game.”

The Blind Date

Any adult who’s ever been single can probably relate: you take the time to learn someone’s likes, dislikes, personality and nuances. You talk at length about what you don’t want from a relationship, from them, or both (and that’s not a typo–everyone doesn’t know what they actually want). You decide whether you and that person are a good fit, and whether you consider them marriage material (if you’re serious).

Now imagine sharing your vision, writing instructions, explaining your wants and needs, shelling out hundreds of dollars (sometimes up front), transferring umpteen files, and making phone calls and sending emails that often go unreturned/replied to…. only to get repeated slow or “no show” performance, and quitters. The worst part is when it’s a referral, because someone vetted that person for you (like a blind date).

You trusted someone’s (professional) opinion and recommendation (e.g., “Oh, I know someone who does that!” or “I’ve got the person for you”), and you want to believe they’re on point!

The Aftermath

The creative process is hard enough when you’ve got your own ideas, but when it comes to a collaborative creative process where you involve others’ ideas of what you want (that was not a typo), it becomes even more of a challenge. So many things like this have happened on the way to publishing in the past 6 months, but I consider it to be training ground and fodder for another “lessons learned” book for my fellow would-be writer colleagues and indie publisher friends.

Oh yeah… and now we’re just one month from the official, “dual” book launch!

Got comments on my new site? Let me know what you think. Know of a speaking event where my message is needed? Contact me.

The Countdown Begins: The What’s Wrong With Me Book Launch is Coming Soon!

Today marks the 60-day countdown to my book launch (on Valentine’s Day). You can pre-order What’s Wrong With Me on Amazon, but I prefer that you use my website and order from me directly so I can re-coup my costs more quickly (I’ve got the Amazon channel mainly for exposure). It’s also available in all ebook formats (Kindle, mobi, epub, pdf) as well as audiobook formats (CD and mp3)!

Something I’ve learned in the past few months is that it’s hard to weed through potential candidates to figure out who will deliver quality work on time. Despite earning my M.S. in Management in 2004, I’ve never wanted to be a manager in the corporate world and that’s a skill of discernment I’m trying to hone better as in my entrepreneur-life. So although I’ve been saying this for months, now I really mean it: I’ve got new videos coming on my publishing Youtube channel really soon. I shot several videos on location a while back; the hold-up was finding someone who was willing AND ready to do the video editing for me… Check!

I’ve also recently added a second companion book, the “What’s Wrong With Me? Reflections Journal,” which is a journal in workbook form that allows girls to do some honest self-reflection on the concepts presented in “What’s Wrong With Me?”

When Your Heart Speaks, Take Notes

Woman sitting against tree writing in notebook

Credit: Blend Images

The first time I looked at Jay-Z’s book Decoded, I thought it was a collection of thoughts, poems, songs that he wrote and made it look like a journal. Although that’s not an exactly accurate description, it is an artistic book, and it’s clear that he has a way with words.

Rappers–the ones who still write their own rhymes, that is–basically capture their thoughts on all kinds of topics and then spit them. I don’t know that any of them would necessarily consider their writing as journaling, but to me it is almost the same thing–writing in the form of journaling helps release a lot of mental stress so that you can try to process it and make sense of it. For anyone who goes beyond the beat and actually listens to song lyrics, you can see what I mean. Continue reading

On to the Next: Let’s Hear Men Out

Many publishing insiders agree that a prolific writer/author is a working, money-earning one. Thus, I gotta keep it moving.  So I’m on to the next project, party people. My cousin put a bug in my ear and I’m running with it.

After breaking the news that his nearly 20-year marriage was ending when he didn’t want it to, he admitted something to me:

He doesn’t want to be single, but he can’t keep living a joyless life.

He wants to be in a loving relationship with a woman who will support him emotionally, encourage him, love him unconditionally, make love to him unconditionally (these are wants, people), and celebrate his successes with him as they raise a family together. Is that too much to ask?

Apparently so.

Credit: Workbook

What will take to get the Black family unit unified? To keep people committed to marriage for the long haul? Why do some men have multiple children without marrying any of their mothers? What does it take for them to find and hold onto true love? How can we make broken home the minority, and the 50+ year wedding anniversaries commonplace?

We wrestled with these and other questions during a 5-hour impromptu brainstorming session (yes–FIVE HOURS on the phone), lots of pacing, lots of note-taking, and story-trading, and thus came up with an idea for a new book.  For the sake of comparison, think of it as a cross between The Conversation by Hill Harper, and Steve Harvey’s books, with just one thing missing.

YOUR voice.

We want a variety of voices on this thing. I don’t want to just write what I think from my limited experience of being a man (that would be zip), or what experts say (although I will include them in a special capacity).

 

Black Men, We Need You!

Credit: Digital Vision

As my friend and partner Myles W. Miller lamented to me recently, the media is on a campaign to make sure people believe that Black men are a lost cause, or a throwaway species that don’t care about love or family, but that’s of course not the case. By perpetuating this myth, the media continues to make money. There’s money in scandalous reality TV. There’s money in lots of drama-inducing behaviors we see in our community, but there’s no money in positivity? Positive news doesn’t sell.

By interviewing Black men directly, I can use their voices and allow women to “hear them out.” So I’m recruiting interviews from never-married/separated/divorced fathers ages 35 and up to contribute via written essay or phone interview, and will present advice and recommendations from experts as well.

 

Can You Help?

We’d love to say that our book will reduce divorce statistics, help marriages stay together, give solutions and ideals on  how things could be better,  help Black couples build together, and heal Black families.  But we’d like to give it a shot.

My goal, my plea, my call to you, is to help me get 100+ participants in this project. I want to talk to men of color all over the U.S. , especially Black men, to give us their side of the story about what it’s like to:

  • be a single dad
  • be punished for being a responsible man because other dudes who ain’t $*#@ (a.k.a. baggage)
  • try to accept real love from a woman when you don’t know how to receive it
  • being a great dad when you didn’t have one or it wasn’t modeled to you as a child
  • ______________ (insert your relationship/co-parenting issue here)

Are you interested in contributing your reflection via phone or written essay? I promise, I won’t put you on blast. Here are the criteria:

  • Black Males
  • Age: 35 and up
  • Status:  single dad/ divorced / separated / co-habitating  (NOTE:  If you’re newlywed, you can still be considered if you recently transitioned from being a single dad.)

Email me: info [at] dareeallen [dot] net and let’s get this party started.

It’s the Goddess in Me

I’m pleased to be featured in Goddess Magazine‘s August/September 2011 issue: Back To School Edition (pp. 22-23).

 

Many thanks to Sydney Bennett for doing the interview, and to Founder/Editor-In-chief Danielle Wideman, MBA.  She and her team are doing a wonderful job of spotlighting girl advocates and promoting healthy self-esteem and other positive behaviors for our girls and young women.

Making Time

Many of my personal friends have mentioned how proud they are of me for writing my book, and how inspired they are to pick up a project that they stopped writing, for various reasons. So when I read the following piece by Hope Clark, author and editor of the Funds for Writers, I knew I had to share it. It is applicable to other disciplines too, not just writing. It is reprinted here with her permission. I hope it motivates you to continue your projects.

 

“Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.”  ~ Carl Sandburg ~
~~~~~~~~~~~

You cannot create time. You are allotted time. Twenty-four hours in a day. So when you say you don’t have time, you’re

Vetta

wrong. You have the same amount as anyone else.

So when someone contacts me, and asked how can they make time for writing, I turn up the tough love to a pretty high volume.

You make time for writing by sacrificing something else.

There! Problem solved. Now all you have to do is decide what you toss out of your life to make room for your stories.

Oh, but you can’t. You have the job, kids, parents, church, volunteer activities, exercising, gardening, cleaning, commuting, Wednesday’s bridge, Friday’s movie night, and the list goes on and on.

How do successful writers do it?
Continue reading

The Book Cover is Here!

I’m so pleased and excited to unveil the cover of my new book.

(Note to self:  Get the cover designed waaaaaaay before you think you need it!)

I’ve pushed the official book launch/release date to November to make sure everything is right and tight.  As the old folks say, “Come correct, or don’t come at all!”

Starting in September you can preorder the book from website or Amazon.  Subscribe to this blog and I’ll be sure to keep you posted!

Redeeming the Time

Alrighty, here’s a quick update on my post earlier this week.

  • Finish the last 3 chapters of edits on my book (not yet, but will by Sunday)
  • Cook more meals and eat less fast food (yep- made 2 slow cooker meals)
  • Post 2 more blog posts (check!)
  • Upload a new video to my YouTube channel (2!)
  • Get to bed before 11:30 pm each night (only once I think– but it happened when I turned off the computer by 8 pm)

Some additional accomplishments:

  • Completed 2 more speeches in 2 of my 3 Toastmasters clubs (I’m on track to achieve my Advanced Communicator Silver by June). I’ve actually decided to scale back to 2 clubs :)
  • Did some networking at a couple of events this week (I often don’t do anything on weeknights)

It’s been a productive week overall for me and I’m looking forward to some great summery weather this weekend. How was your week?

No One Is Unreachable

Is there a connection you need to make, but the person seems to be inaccessible? You CAN reach them. It’s as simple as sending a message to your contact in their preferred method.

Now granted, this preferred method is not always so simple, and may not be easy to find. You can always start with their website or social media page. But I’ve found that most of the people I want to reach, I can contact them directly, and if not, they have listed a way to reach their representative (agent, etc.) on their website.

Because of the nature of Twitter streams, the person may not catch your query on your first try (and ideally, you should develop a relationship with the person before diving in and asking them for something that primarily benefits you, such as a book endorsement or a guest post.

I have this “can-do” attitude about reaching people because I have forced myself to overcome the fear of rejection. As a budding freelancer, I’m not going to get clips (for free nor for pay) if I don’t speak up.  No one’s going to come along and offer me anything that I really want (unless they’re a good friend who knows what I’m looking for, or a mind reader). I actually believe that if I want to talk to President Obama directly, I can (don’t roll your eyes—I know it would take a while, but I CAN). And I’d love to. But first I’ll tell you what I’ve already done.

I’m a technical writer by day, but I’ve got a book I plan to publish next year for young adults.  I’ve also been eyeing some major magazines I want to write for as a contributor. So I hit up several well-known authors and players in the publishing industry last winter (around Christmastime!) and ALL of them responded and were willing to have me interview them, even though I didn’t have “a name” or a special place I knew I would publish the work. It was a privilege for me, not to mention very unselfish and gracious of them–they’re all very busy but made to talk to what I then considered “little old me.” (This is the resulting award-winning article.)

Getting Noticed

I’ve got several people I would love to endorse my forthcoming book, and a few would I’d love to write a foreword for it. But I’m not going to just pop up and say, “Hey, I love your work? I know you don’t know me from Adam, but could you stop what you’re doing to read my book, and give me a quote to endorse it so it will sell faster?”

That is not a good look.  When someone comes up to you with a generic, thinly-veiled “buy-my-product” pitch, it’s a turn off.

But if you market yourself the right way, it’s kind of like politics–when you see enough signs on the road with candidates’ names, you remember them name even if you don’t personally know those people. Here are a few tips that worked for me:

  1. Participate in conversation wherever your desired contact is active. Get involved with online and/or in-person networking. Don’t be afraid to let your personality come through (err on the conservative side in the beginning though). And please, use a good picture of yourself too.
  2. Consider the person’s brand (what are they known for, and what causes do they support), then use your good common sense to determine whether that person is a good contact for the project you’re seeking their help on.
  3. Provide the person with value in some way. (Check out Dave Navarro’s excellent, free workbook about networking with A-listers for all the details).
  4. Ask, and you shall receive. (If you don’t, switch a bit and keep trying.)

Meeting With A Mentor

Daree and Denene

11 months ago, I interviewed an author I highly respect, Ms. Denene Millner How did I get the interview? I sent her a simple message on Facebook and asked. Did we have any mutual friends to introduce us? No. I simply asked to interview her, sent her some questions, and she responded in kind. I even Once I moved to Atlanta, I let her know and she offered to meet me for lunch, which I was honored to do. She is a sweetheart! There we discussed some friendly things, parenting things, and political things. She also let me pick her brain a bit about publishing/writer things and it was great.

The moral of the story? No one is totally out of reach, but regardless of how popular the person whom you have your sights set on, you’ll need to start early. There may be only six degrees of separation (maximum) between you and your desired contact. Don’t wait until your situation becomes such that you needed this contact “yesterday.”

Who are you trying to reach, and to what end (that is, what are you trying to accomplish with this contact?) Have you had success with this method or another one?

The Changing Publishing Landscape for African American Writers (Part 2)

(For part 1 of this article, refer to this post.)

 

Racism in Publishing

Denene Millner has shifted from writing for adults to focusing on children’s books, citing her disgust with the publishing marketplace: “The industry for Black writers is so dead. We’re not being invited to write for the mainstream audience like those that write for The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, and Vogue.” Millner also thinks options for Black writers are limited in the industry. “Writing about the streets, people that crawled their way out of the ‘hood, dealing drugs, degradation, killing, and explicit sex? That’s not me. I don’t do street fiction. We’re being put in a box to just stick to writing about Black people and Black life. There are only a few exceptions—like Zadie Smith and Colton Whitehead—that are privileged to be able to write about other things.”

Karen Hunter readily admits the double standard that is pervasive in the publishing industry. “Publishing is racist,” Hunter says. “All books and authors are not treated the same. [Publishers] could lose money on Stephen King and still put their money behind him. [On the other hand, the late] E. Lynn Harris lost a deal with Random House even though he had 10 New York Times bestsellers! They made so much money off him. They don’t drop White people with a track record like that. They don’t even know they’re racist. It’s more insidious because it’s not even willful. It’s part of the fabric. It’s just the way it is.”

According to Hunter, most, if not all of the resistance boils down to the dominance of White executives at the publishing houses, not just the way it’s always been done. “Who’s sitting at the top and saying what’s good? Who are the editors? I don’t like when Black editors can only sign Black authors. Why? If you’re good, why does it matter? I’m one of the best in the business, and if you need a get a book done, you wanna talk to me.”

It’s Not A Black Or White Thing—It’s A Book Thing

Hunter also has frustrations with African American literary works being categorized into the ethnic genre instead of genres closer to a book’s topic, such as Self-help, Graphic novels, Relationships, or Fantasy. She says readers just want to read good books, and Black authors’ works should not be excluded or relegated to the African American section of a bookstore per se.  “It’s not a Black thing. We don’t have to cater to a Black market. I want to deal with broader subjects. My books are for a mainstream audience.”

Hunter says the publishing industry is focusing on the wrong thing when they are marketing to the book-buying public. “It’s all about the story as a novel and a publisher and author. Books are books. A lot of kids are reading adult as well as YA books, whether they’re written by Anne Rice, Stephen King, or Judy Blume. Some adults read Harry Potter. There’s no such thing as a Black book. When you categorize a book that way, you miss the mark—people just want to read. If the content and the story are tight, the book will sell.”

Another issue when it comes to Black authors is that publishers tend to place the author’s work in a category based on their color, rather than the content of their book.  “One author I know does vampire books, but she doesn’t just write Black books,” Hunter says. Her work should have been placed in the Sci-fi section because of its content, not because of her race. And when I did Why Men Fear Marriage, I argued [with he publisher] about getting it in the Self-help section, but they wanted it in the Black section because the author is Black.” Looking at a the smash success of Steve Harvey’s Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, she says that his book “was number 1 in Australia because they care about content of book, not that he’s Black.”

 

Final Words

Here are some tips for writers and aspiring authors:

Start small.
Mitzi Miller: “Don’t wait to pitch the publications you want to write for. Take small assignments while you pitch where you want to publish. Stay in motion. The online boom helps because it makes it easier to land gigs and bigger pieces than a printed magazine, which has to pay for pages. Publishing your work online also makes it easier to quantify your popularity by page hits/views.”

Take pride in your work.
Millner: “When your copy sparkles and shines, it stands out, and that means there’s less fussing an editor has to do with it. Editors appreciate that, and it makes that freelancer worth their weight in gold. That person will get more work. But when you hand in crappy copy, that means more work for the editor, and the editor will think twice about assigning you more work.”

Build a platform and stand on it.
Millner: “You’re an idiot if you are a writer and don’t have a platform. You have to have a way for people to reach out to you.  I blog on several sites, and each one exposes me to a new audience. You have to extend your brand if you want to make money as a writer. My Brown Baby [her blog] has over 1,000 subscribers, and it has become viral. You can use internet radio and blogs to gain email subscribers and amass a following. A platform is just smart business. If you don’t have a platform, people will not find you, and will not be able to show your reach.”

Stay the course.

Hunter: “You just want to write? [Getting to the] “Promised Land” of becoming an author takes time. It takes time to build an audience.”

Miller: “When you stop pitching, you become disinterested and doubt yourself, and you could walk away from your own dream. Just do a little bit every day, every week. Those small accomplishments create a momentum in your mind.”

Brooks: “I tell my authors to have faith and be focused. If you do those two things, your project will come through in terms of your writing and the deal.”