First Ladies: The Unsung Pulpit Partners (Part 3)

Lost? This post is part 3 of a series. It will all make more sense to you if you read the previous posts (Part 1 and Part 2) before proceeding.

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Balancing Family Time

“Family and devotional time is on the top of my list—it is what keeps everything else moving forward,” Sharon affirms.  When either of them are ignored or lowered on my priority list, I am less productive and totally not fulfilled.”

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Adequate family time is a priority in the Hurst home. “Being a responsible mom is a major thing for me,” Denise says, whose three children are sons Jeremiah, 9, Dynnell, 6, and Sean, 2, with another son due this month. “I’m raising African-American men in today’s society. I want them to be well-rounded and secure in themselves.”

The Hursts are also cautious about the “PK” (preacher’s kid) syndrome. “Germaine and I do not want our kids to grow up and resent the church. I don’t want them to think, ‘The church took my mom and dad from me.’ So to avoid that attitude later, we make sure we do things together—just us.”

Religion or Relationship?

For the longest time I was busy. Too busy to finish the things that I started. My desk is chronically covered with papers, notes, receipts, magazine clippings, coupons, to-dos, mail, and other things for me to “get around to.” So in the middle of working through whatever task I’m involved in, there’s nothing like a child to come and disrupt your train of thought with such pressing matters as:

“Mommy, my doll’s car door broke and I can’t get it back on.”

“Can you help me put on my doll’s new dress?”

“Can I go to ____________’s house? PLEEEEEEASE?

“LOOK! LOOK! Hurry, you gotta see this _________ on TV quick! I want it!”

What my daughter feels she needs at moments like these is my undivided attention. What I feel I need at these moments is uninterrupted quiet time to read or concentrate on what I’m doing (yeah right!). But which is more important? The things she wants to tell me or show me are important to her, and the task I’m attending to is important to me.

Something I recently learned and internalized is how to balance rules with relationship. Once I started being a little more patient, learning to stop what I’m doing (even if just briefly) at a good stopping point where I can later continue where I left off, to give her more time. It’s usually not much to me, but it means a lot to her. Once I started giving her more attention, even if it’s just for a hug or a high-five, I noticed that she has been acting out less. There’s been less talking back, less disobedience, and no tantrums to speak of! No child is a perfect angel, but I when I stopped treating her requests like inconvenient chores (which some of them still are, but I act differently now), I stopped having to correct or discipline her as much.

Now what does any of this have to do with religion? I’m getting there.