If you don’t feel like reading this post, you can just listen (2 minute audio).
What’s one of the first words a toddler says when they learn to speak? Is it ‘Da-da’? ‘Ma-ma’?
No. (It’s ‘No.’)
No is practically a universal word. In just about any language, you can say “No” to someone and they know what you mean–no translation required.
How is it that one of the first words we ever learn to say as a child–the simplest of words–can be one of the hardest to for us to say to others after we leave childhood?
Remember the slogans of the 80’s? How is it that one of the first words we ever learn to say as a child–the simplest of words–can be one of the hardest for us to say to others after we leave childhood?
Remember the slogans of the 80’s?
“Just say no” [to drugs].
“Just say no… then go… and tell” [molestation/kidnapping attempts].
Sometimes, when you always say “Yes,” you become overcommitted, overwhelmed, and resentful. You can enable people into remaining in a toddler stage because they always get their way when it comes to you. Say no and let them have their adult temper tantrum if need be.
Say no to negative people and influences.
Say no to having a “frenemy.”
Say no to toxic relationships.
Say no to investing your time in activities that burn you out and give you nothing in return.
Say no to overcommitments.
Say no to bullying family members.
It’s ok to love yourself. It’s not egotistical. It’s not selfish to want to stay sane.
So if you want to be emotionally healthy, then instead of saying yes to them out of fear, say no to them out of love for yourself.