Why Can’t I Find a Man Like THAT?

On a whim, I went to Texas last week and visited my cousin Desi* and his family there. What a treat! I haven’t seen him in over 30 yrs–which means that I really don’t remember him. I knew of him through family members and pictures, and a couple of years ago, he “found” me on Facebook.

Desi took care of me, talked to me, hung out with me and listened to me. He treated me so well. Simply put, he showed me love. Some of that love came in helping me promote my debut book wherever we went, and I was surprised how many of these strangers were ready to buy on the spot. I’ve got plans to return to TX as a stop on my book tour.

Credit: Datacraft Co Ltd

I’m not afraid to speak in front of groups of people whom I’ve never met, but approaching random people and talking up both of my projects to them has been an eye-opener. It has not only shown me how receptive people can be, but it also helps me improve my “elevator pitch” and relieve some of my fear of rejection. Many entrepreneurs (or authorpreneurs like me) are so good at what they do, but the marketing piece–talking themselves up–can be uncomfortable and downright daunting at times. I thank Desi for his support, and for not-so-gently pushing me outside of my comfort zone.

As for the new book about single Black fathers, I am feeling rejuvenated: talking to men for the new project has definitely opened my eyes to what men think, feel and care about. They have opened up to me in such a way that at times I feel like a fly on the wall, and at other times like a coach. I feel almost like I have “the scoop”, secrets, or insider information that other women need but don’t have. My only hope is that when I give it to them (in the book), that they are not only inspired to self-reflect, but that they can come together with the men they care about and work together to preserve their relationships and marriages. Stay tuned for more.

*- not his real name. I mentioned Desi in the post about my next book on single Black fathers.

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