Kids Who Aren’t Cute and Cuddly

Credit: Fanpop

I’ve got a shocking admission to make: I don’t like some my daughter’s friends.

What the heck is wrong with me? How can I not like little girls when I have one myself?
Well I’ll tell you… it’s not all of them, of course, but she’s an only child and ALWAYS asks to play with other kids, even on days when she went to school–it doesn’t matter.
My daughter is very well-behaved in public and with other adults. If she wasn’t, I’m sure she wouldn’t be popular or repeatedly get asked to do things with their kids. No, she’s not perfect, but I can 99.9% guarantee that she’s behaves as well or better for other adults as she does with me.
All parents, whether in couples or single, have different parenting styles.  Some men I have dated in the past might hear things over the phone and question my style or decisions, but we’re all different. I don’t have to like the way others parent their kids, but some parenting styles lend themselves toward annoying results when their children come into my care/supervision:
  • Some parents baby their kids. Result: Their children don’t know how to accept “No” from other adults.
  • Some don’t discipline them and brush off their rudeness toward other children. “You know how girls are,” or “She didn’t mean it, right  NAME?” Result: They continue their unacceptable behavior and think nothing of it. My daughter continues to get her feelings hurt (this is after I warn her or have forbidden the children to play together for some time).
My favorites are the girls who question me about something I say to MY child. Take for instance when I call to my daughter to come in the house, and another child says adamantly, “Why does she have to go in?” Or if we are leaving, “Where are you going?” as if they are MY parent! You know what I’m talking about– they say it in a controlling, bossy tone. My usual answer is to either say firmly “I was talking to K,” or “K needs to come in.” If I’ve addressed this child before, I ignore the question. I teach my daughter that even if they ask her questions like that when I am not around, she is not obligated to answer to them. None of them is in charge of anything about her life. I understand some people are nosy (K is too, and she admits it!) but she has to learn to establish certain boundaries now–it’s not going to get easier to deal with kids in the coming years than it has been.
Whew! Glad I got that off my chest, and I know I’m not the only one. How do you handle your children’s bossy friends?

7 thoughts on “Kids Who Aren’t Cute and Cuddly

  1. My daughter had a smart, but whiny friend who would spend the night. This kid could never just ask for something in a normal tone of voice. She’d put on a really annoying whiny tone! If you were here, I’d imitate it.

    It drove me nuts! So – I’d just imitate her annoying whiny tone and reply, “I can’t answer that question until you use a normal speaking voice.” I’d wait a moment and go, “Like this,” in a normal tone of voice.

    The look on her face the first time I did that was priceless!

    Long story short: it worked! That kid would snap out of it… Until she returned home and that was, sadly, what worked for her there.

    ~Tui, visiting from #AtoZchallenge
    blog: Tui Snider’s Texas, Travel, Photos & Reviews

  2. Oh good, I’m not the only one! LOL I think you handle the bossy kids perfectly by not answering their question. I suspect they are used to demanding explanation from their own parents that way, and those parents probably answer *to* them, as well as answer them.
    Enjoy your A to Z journey!

    Jess /Blogging on the Brink

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