These days, blended families are becoming the new normal. A woman, married or not, may live with a man and children where the children are a product of a previous relationship.
Some people manage it well. I remember reading in Vanessa Williams book that she has a big Thanksgiving dinner every year with all her ex-husbands and children–and it’s not awkward!
In this clip, former NFL player Deion Sanders has lunch with Kenny “Babyface” Edmonds. They talk about their children and their mutual respect for each other and their common denominator, Tracey Edmonds (Deion’s girlfriend and Babyface’s ex-wife and mother of their children).
But sometimes things don’t go quite as smoothly. Continue reading here.
July 2013 was the month of reunions: I reunited with a 15 people in 8 different scenarios–and I didn’t attend a family reunion to do it.
Reunited at Long Last
I wanted to take advantage of my mom time off but I did spend a couple of days being mom when I went to Virginia to celebrate my daughter’s 10th birthday with her. She was also reunited with her father on her special day (whom we haven’t seen in 18 months) and her adult brother whom I’ve known about ever since I met her father but have never met before!
Of the 15 reunions I had this month, 6 of them were in town. 2 of the in- town reunions were with people who were traveling to Atlanta and happened to tell me they were coming. That included a friend I have not seen since then since we graduated 19 years ago– we went to school together from kindergarten all the way through 12th grade! (Unfortunately my cousin came here the same weekend that I went to Virginia, so I couldn’t see her.)
Running Long and Strong
I completed my goal of running at least 60 miles this month. I decided to start running more in the mornings so that I can beat the sun, high temps and humidity that defines summer in Hotlanta. Getting up while it’s still dark is definitely a sacrifice because I work from home, but knowing I’ve done a hard workout early and got that out of the way is worth it. However, I ran my fastest and longest runs when it was over 90 degrees– so go figure. I now do a run long every weekend (at least 5 miles) and recover well.
3 short months ago when I started running, I was afraid. I considered the average 5K/ 3 mile route to be a scary distance, and I’d modify the route or turn around a lot sooner than everyone else in my running group. Now I’m when I finish 3- or 4-mile runs, I feel like I could keep going even though it’s over. I think, “That’s it? I’m just getting started.” It’s not because the runs get easier, or that I’m that much faster than before. I must be getting stronger. So if you’re new like me and you don’t think you’re where you’re want to be with this running thing, don’t worry–just stick with it and for sure, running will stick with you.
In other news, editing is now complete for my new book and the layout phase has begun. I also got a new phone–the Samsung Galaxy S4.
I think I want to take one more short trip in August before baby girl comes home. Any suggestions?
This post is comprised of my notes from Chalene Johnson’s “Being Unstoppable” presentation at Camp Do More on June 18, 2013, at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. [Note that some of my commentary is in brackets.]
Your purpose has a lot to do with your struggle. You’re the only one who can start/stop your progress.
I never say I hate myself–that’s talking about God’s creation.
You can’t love yourself until you love your story. In other words, make peace with your past. Do you ever respect someone LESS when you hear their story? So why are you afraid to tell yours? Don’t be ashamed of it or afraid to tell people where you’ve been.
This post is comprised of my notes from Chalene Johnson’s “Being Unstoppable” presentation at Camp Do More (CDM) on June 18, 2013, at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. [Note that some of my commentary is in brackets. Chalene took a picture of us standing behind her before she began.]
Do more of the right things. You can do anything, but don’t do everything. Do the things with the most impact. Learn to take action in smaller steps. [This is related to her to-do list practices as discussed in her book, PUSH! Here are the steps to becoming unstoppable:
Step 2 – Tell people you’re on your way. Create accountability by telling people what you’re going to do. Give yourself a fast approaching deadline. [My goal was to make Lifetime with WW a few days after returning home, so while I’m in Vegas I decided that I’m not going to overeat every day, or indulge at every meal. Even though we are working out, you can’t out-train a bad diet. I’m too close to my goal to mess around.] Step 3 – Identify detours. What distracts you or causes you to procrastinate? Address how you will handle those situations. [For me, it’s too many tabs open, phone, TV, internet, and Facebook. For me to get creative and/or productive, I have to shut out the world.]
April 2013 was a great month for me. My life has taken some awesome, positive, encouraging turns. I completed the A to Z Challenge with 26 new posts in one month! Here’s a few other highlights:
I ran a free promotion on my first book with Amazon Kindle. It hit #1 that week.
I reached my 25 lb milestone on Weight Watchers, after battling a plateau for the past few months. (I’m less than 2 lbs from my goal weight.)
Turbokick has taken a temporary backseat as I’ve taken up running into my workout routine. I completed a 6K, and felt unstoppable. I believe running 3 to 4 times a week has helped me break my plateau.
My forthcoming book cover is complete. The book is in editorial now–still on track for a summer release.
Made some great connections while networking, which I haven’t done since last year. One of those connections resulted in a spotlight on People You Need to Know Women’s Magazine. I’m expecting more fruit from additional contacts as well.
Reconnected with two people I’ve loved, and made peace with them.
Had an awesome, fun visit from my sister, whom I last saw a few months ago when I surprised her for her birthday. I love my family!!
I’m feeling really grateful about something else that’s pretty promising, but I’m going to hold my tongue for a bit. Can you guess what it is?
Xavier Simmons and his famous father, rapper DMX (“Dead Man X”) were recently featured on an episode of OWN’s “Iyanla Fix My Life.” DMX admitted that he has done drugs most of his life and cheated on his wife numerous times, having 7 children with other women (in addition to theirs).
His oldest child (with his estranged wife) is now a man in search of a healthy relationship with his father. Unfortunately Xavier’s wish was not fulfilled–at least not yet. DMX was unwilling to accept Xavier’s request to get off drugs in order to have a healthy relationship with him. His attitude and speech was (I am paraphrasing)- “You can accept me as I am [an unrecovered addict] or else forget it.” DMX also cursed Iyanla numerous times and walked out on the interview repeatedly. He’s facing a lot of demons, and it was hard to watch.
What follows is a guest post from a man who is playing a tug of war in his relationship with his firstborn daughter, which is being threatened by her mother. If you can relate, please feel free to comment.
As a non-custodial parent, I can attest to the battle that rages every day in courtrooms and living rooms around this country over issues of child support, child custody, and more. These private wars take on a life of their own when you add in lawyers, judges, counselors, evaluators, case handlers, etc.; all people will little to no interest in the actual outcome of the decisions they make or the lives they affect.
I don’t like having third parties involved in matters affecting my child, but there’s something I dislike even more. That’s coming to the realization that my child’s mother has been mentally poisoning my child to believe that she is a victim of some kind and that daddy hates mommy. I was shocked when I realized that matters handled at the courthouse were being discussed and shared openly with this child.
When asked why she would be sharing this with a pre-teen, the mother’s response was “well, she deserves to know what’s going on with her. Since this affects her, she has a right to know.” Really? I don’t think so. Continue reading “Warring Against the Odds”→