Are You Strong Enough?

(Throughout the month, I’m blogging 20 questions from this month’s feature article in O magazine.)



QUESTION 14- Am I Strong Enough?


I’ve endured a lot of things in my 30’s so far.  People say I’m strong, but at times I don’t feel strong.  It’s the God in me that helps me get through.  I don’t need to question my strength because I can rely on His.

What does it mean to be strong?

 

Being strong means knowing when to ask for help, and not being afraid to.

Being strong means facing your fears–doing it afraid.

Being strong means moving forward  based on faith and wisdom even when circumstances tell you otherwise.

Being strong means doing what’s right even when everyone else tells you you’re wrong (or you can get away with it).

Being strong means speaking your truth even if it’s not popular with the masses.


Being strong means that you remain kind and not allow evil people or ugly situations get the best of you.

Being strong means walking in your purpose.

And now, a few fitting words from a devotional I just read:
A person who is truly confident of his or her strength does not need to parade it. A truly brave person does not look for chances to prove it. A resourceful woman can find a way out of a fight. A man of endurance will avoid retaliating. Foolish people find it impossible to avoid strife.
Men and women of character can. What kind of person are you?

 

How do you show your strength?

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What Are You Afraid Of?


(Throughout the month, I’m blogging 20 questions from this month’s feature article in O magazine.) 



QUESTION 11- What Am I Afraid Of?

In the past I’ve been afraid of being left out from what was going on with the cool kids. Lately I’ve been afraid that I’m missing out on enjoying my life, if I just base it off of emails of happenings and various Facebook posts.  It’s one of the reasons why so many people get hooked on social media. “FOMO.”

 

But the fear I’m going to address here is literal. You may want to ask yourself this question two or three times each time you answer it to get to the root.

 

What are you afraid of?
But then what are you really afraid of?

 

I love families and I love mine. I don’t want to lose my parents–not so much afraid, because I know someday it will happen–its just that I’m not looking forward to living without them.

 

I hope that I will not be alone when my daughter grows up– there’s no guarantee that I’ll get married again.

 

I’ve been afraid that the one that I care about so much doesn’t really care much about me.

 

Sometimes I think I’m afraid of success. Other times I’m afraid that I’m not as good as others that do what I do. Or that I’ll be overlooked even if I am.


Now that you know what you are afraid of, what are you going to do about it?

 

Are You Helpful?

(Throughout the month, I’m blogging 20 questions from this month’s feature article in O magazine.)
QUESTION 10- Am I Helpful?
 
Hold me (hand). I am your Care, Safety, Strength, Love, and Help
Photo Credit: International Orthodox Christian Charities (IOCC)
People always ask me things like, how can I break into technical writing [like me]? Or about my writing process. How I got started homeschooling. How I get my nails to grow so long. What they should know LASIK surgery process and if I’d do it again. How I lost so much weight. How long/fast/much do I run.
 
Often, I will direct them to this blog, because I’m so descriptive in my writing. But everyone doesn’t want to read. Lucky them, because I love to talk, too
 
Sometimes though, I get in my introverted moods where I just don’t want to talk to anyone. Or the “help” being requested is really someone who is capable, but lazy, and wants me to do their work for them. Or, it could be that I feel like I’m repeating myself way too much.
 
I love to learn. I love information, but it’s everywhere. A simple Google search can become overwhelming when you start looking through the results. So I see why it’s easier sometimes to just ask someone who has already done something you’re interested in or trying to do. So don’t be offended if I send you here. It’s just easier for me to save a little energy that way. Overall, I think I’m pretty helpful and I don’t hoard knowledge.
Do you have a hard time asking for–or giving–help when needed?

Do You Know How to Say No?

(Throughout the month, I’m blogging 20 questions from this month’s feature article in O magazine.)

manifesto-say-no-large

QUESTION 8- Do I Know How to Say No?

No is the first word most of us learn to say. Why then, is it so hard for some of us to place boundaries on our time and current responsibilities? Is it because of other’s perceptions of us and possible judgment? Is it because we truly want to do it all, say Yes on impulse without weighing any pros and cons?

I don’t have a problem overcommitting to things. My mom taught me that when faced with a potentially awkward request that I need to decline, that I should do so without feeling the need to explain. A simple, “No, I’m not going to be able to do that” works. And if the receiver of this message presses on, you repeat yourself politely but firmly. No guilt trips. No explanations.

How do you decline new commitments that you know you don’t really want to can’t carry out? Do you explain yourself or feel guilty afterward?

Do You Say Yes Enough?

(Throughout the month, I’m blogging 20 questions from this month’s feature article on O magazine. )
QUESTION 7: Do I Say Yes Enough?

This is a good one.

Yes_This_day_1Covey_new_feb

Do you say Yes too easily, or not enough?

Liz Lamoreux has a 10-day series of emails from called “Yes, This.” Each day she has a thought, story or exercise that encourages you to seize fleeting moments while they are present–encouraging you to be present, in the present.

The deeper question at the root of it all for me is this: What gets in the way of my “Yeses” when I want to do something but can’t? Is a true lack of time? Lack of money? Fear of my ability or an outcome? (Note that I didn’t say fear of failure–I could also be afraid of success.)

The author of today’s essay in O Mag sums it up like this: “There’s something about saying yes right away, without overthinking, that makes me not want to change my mind. Yes propels you forward, cannonballs you into life.”

We’ll talk more about saying Yes to No tomorrow.

How Do You Want to Be Remembered?

(Throughout the month, I’m blogging 20 questions from this month’s feature article on O magazine.)
Credit: Strong Inside/Out
QUESTION 6: How Do I Want to Be Remembered?
Legacy is something to consider while we’re living. My life matters now, and I want it to matter when I’m gone.
The beginning of Hyatt’s Life Plan template asks you to reflect on how you want to be remembered by your family, friends, colleagues and others after you’ve left this earth.
For my daughter, I stated that I wanted her memory of me to be:
Looked up to me as a strong, secure, successful, happy woman who loved her, God, and my family. Someone who modeled clean giving and helped others be better and do better. I gave her the confidence to achieve anything with integrity and faith.
That description is a little serious, maybe even morbid (I wasn’t pre-writing my obituary), but I’m sure she will also think of me as funny and other adjectives 🙂
I want my mentees and friends to be able to say that I truly loved and cared about them, and that I taught them something valuable about their worth and value, living peacefully, producing work with quality and excellence, and allowing themselves to feel joy as often as possible.
It’s easy to take life for granted, but many things about the way I live my life now are with my future–and my daughter’s–in mind. It’s my responsibility to equip her for life to the best of my ability until she’s mature enough to make her own life choices.
Credit: Ms Moem
If today was your last day on earth, how would you want to be remembered? If you feel like you still have more to do, what steps will you take so that your memory will be “complete” (to your satisfaction)?

What’s Your Deal Breaker?

Throughout the month, I’m blogging 20 questions from this month’s feature article in O magazine.
Question 4- What’s Your Deal Breaker?

Many people are quick to say that cheating is a deal breaker. But it’s hard to say what you’d do if you haven’t been through it before. And forgiveness requires that you don’t give too much credence to other’s opinions.

“In matters of love, you have to know where to draw the line.” – from the O article

 

Teddy and Tina Campbell discuss his infidelity on Season 3 of Mary Mary on WeTV.

If you don’t know what your boundaries are, you will quickly learn when someone breaks them. So without shame or trepidation, I admit that I have a “report card” that reflects my personal requirements for a mate, love language and deal breakers. I created it in 2007 and use it to evaluate men that I am dating or considering a relationships with. It’s not something I carry with me or print out, but I refer to it when needed. (See Question 1- I’m a deep, reflective person.)

I have only shared the actual content with my sister, but told her she’d have to modify it to reflect her own preferences and requirements. In general I’ll say that I assign points to 10 different qualities/attributes. Like a real report card from school, the maximum points total 100.  If the guy has less than 80 points after a certain period of time, I move on (unless I ignore choose to apply). Two of my key requirements involve a visible proof of his love for God (walking the talk, displaying integrity and intangible characteristics) and for his children, if any. So atheists and deadbeats need not apply. Height, weight and color aren’t present on my list, although I have my preferences like anyone else.

 

So what are your deal breakers?