I Mean What I Say

Warning: If you’re dragging your feet on something, this post may hurt your feelings, but it’s for your own good.

We–some of us–do not engage each other enough on the level to see what’s behind common phrases such as, “How are you?”

I remember times in 2009 and 2010 when I told people I was writing a book, and often they would ask, “What’s it about?,” which is a fair question in and of itself. But some of the people I was in touch with regularly, it didn’t register, and they would ask again and again. I didn’t really think about it until I received my first printed book recently and started showing it to folks. As they held the book in their hands, most of the comments were praise and astonishment that I completed my goal.

Writing books is no joke, and a lot of people who say they want to do it or are going to do it, do not ever even try. I didn’t say, “I’m writing a book” to get a reaction from someone, make them care about my project, or look at me differently. Once I said it, I knew I was going to do it.

It surprised me how surprised THEY were, because I know me, and they know me–they know I’m a goal-getter. As hard as writing my first book was at times (the process–not the actual writing), I knew I could not give up because I was called to write this book, and I am pretty ambitious. I believe that you give your time to the things that matter most to you. That being said, I push myself harder than anyone else ever could when it comes to my goals.

I do what I say I’m going to do– for myself and for others.

Continue reading “I Mean What I Say”


The Bait and Switch: Committed Life Partner to Fair-weather Friend

Credit: Photodisc

Did you watch the “Kardashian Event” earlier this month?  Celebutante Kim Kardashian got married for the second time to 26-year-old NBA baller Kris Humphries, and for most of the 4-hour glimpse into their wedding planning, Kim and Kris (her mother) made lots of decisions about the wedding with Kris’ (the fiance’s) thoughts and opinions about logistics (everything from the registry to Kim’s last name) as an afterthought.

It was this “event” that I thought of–wedding planning–when a married male friend of mine lamented about how many women do not consider involving their spouse in their daily activities of life post-wedding either. What follows is a guest post he penned. Single ladies, consider this as #foodforthought.


Life is good…..we start our life together, the rings are shiny, the weekend get-a-ways are fantastic, and there’s plenty of money in the bank.  Things are looking good and I’m ‘da man.

Unfortunately, like millions of other men out there, I’ve found that life can definitely throw some curve-balls that keep you guessing what’s next.  This shouldn’t be something that brings me down, but what happens when the person I’ve joined in covenant with turns out to be a fair-weather friend?

“For better or for worse” turned out to only apply to her.

“In sickness and in health” turned out to only apply to her.

“For richer, for poorer” turned out to only apply to her.

Continue reading “The Bait and Switch: Committed Life Partner to Fair-weather Friend”

Single (Ladies) in the City

Photo Credit: Photodisc

VH-1 is premiering a new show called “Single Ladies” with LisaRaye and Stacey Dash, about a few single women living in Atlanta (think: a Black version of Sex in the City). I think I know a thing or two about that. Instead of getting into the (de)merits of the show (at least from the snippets I saw), I’d like to share some insights from some of my new “motivational speaker” friends about relationships, based on recent events I’ve attended, here in “the City.” (I received a good number of reactions the last time I gave some of my personal insights on the subject), and you may also want to check out one of my humorous personal dating stories.) Continue reading “Single (Ladies) in the City”

Why Won’t He Put a Ring On It?

My friend in my head, life coach/author/speaker Shanel Cooper-Sykes was on a panel last night entitled, “Why Black Men Don’t Get Married.” It was hosted by Pastor Jamal Harrison Bryant of The Empowerment Temple in Baltimore and streamed live.

Bryant was the moderator who preached a short message before opening the floor for questions from the panel. The panel consisted of five women, all of whom were ministers and/or authors (not sure why no men were on the panel). Below I share some tidbits of advice from the panel based on random questions from the audience.

Note:  These quotes are not all-inclusive, and I’ve interjected a few notes. Unfortunately I did not catch the names of all the panelists, so in fairness, I will not credit anyone at this time.

Got Requirements?

Men are not getting married because women are not requiring it. We are giving a man everything of ourselves and not requiring anything in return. [Daree’s note: not requiring does not mean the same thing as not asking.] Stop shacking. Make requirements and put them on a list.

Continue reading “Why Won’t He Put a Ring On It?”