What Do Women Want From Us?: A Man’s Plea

The following is a post from a friend who I’ll call “Tim.” I’m not going to give anymore of a setup than that. I can see his side of things, and although I am not one of these women he describes, I know some, and unfortunately, so does he. :S   Anyway, let me know what you think.
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I was brought up to value the special place women had in the family.  They were daughters, sisters, wives, mothers, and more.  They were blessed with being the very first love of children and keepers of the home.  Women, from my perspective, kept the family on track.  Even women that weren’t married carried themselves in such a way as to demand a certain level of respect, just because they were a woman.  Even if you didn’t like a particular woman, you respected her as such and always wanted to be respectful.

The Problem Is…

Sadly, it seems that somewhere along the line, women decided that being a woman was a dirty word.  Women decided that they needed to feel equal to a man.  I’m not talking about simply wanting to be paid the same wages for performing the same work; I’m talking about actually taking on some of the same traits, mannerisms, and even nasty attitudes.  Women got busy going to school, getting jobs, and putting off marriage and family.  All of a sudden, it was more important to be an equal and not need a man for anything than it was to actually value who you were; a woman.

Is there any wonder why men struggle with understanding modern women?  On one hand, they want all the traditional courtesies and considerations given a women of generations past, while on the other thinking it okay to roll their eyes at their man because he asked for a glass of water.  I mean, “Why can’t he just get up and get his own glass of water?”

Credit: Lifesize

It seems that today’s man has to spend a lot of time sparring with women instead of loving them.  Is that supposed to inspire love and affection, or does the modern woman even need those things anymore.  After all, she has her on money, her own house, her own career, and if she happened to have a baby along the way, she even has a courthouse full of people eager to make sure she gets paid for being a mom… oh, I forgot, that money is for the kid.

I’ve never seen such arrogance as I do with today’s women.  What really makes it worse is to see them online talking about how there aren’t any good men, how men are scared of a “strong woman”, and how men are just dogs who only want sex.  These women actually want to play the “victim-card” like they don’t play any part in their dilemma.

Case in Point

I don’t have a problem with ‘Strong Women’, I have a problem with women who’ve traded in everything that made them special in order to be something they aren’t.

Here’s an example….

Continue reading “What Do Women Want From Us?: A Man’s Plea”

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Stop Being Niggardly! (And Other Advice We Still Aren’t Paying Attention To)

Around Christmastime last year, I had a great hour-long chat with Pulitzer-prize winning author and journalist, Karen Hunter of Karen Hunter Publishing. If you watch the video below, the same way she’s talking there is the same way she talked to me: straight up.


She didn’t know me from Adam but was not hesitant to take the time to answer my questions about getting started as a freelance writer, the business of writing and publishing for Blacks in particular. She shared her background and wisdom with me, and many of the things she imparted to me then were also mentioned in this book (which was then unreleased), Stop Being Niggardly: And Nine Other Things Black People Need to Stop Doing. In this post I’ll give you some of the highlights, but in short, this book is a must-read, and more importantly, a must-DO.

If You Can’t Get In Their Door, Start Your Own

When Karen started her own publishing house, she reached out to her contacts for support, but didn’t get it. I was surprised when she mentioned

Earl G. Graves, Sr. (Image courtesy of BlackEnterprise.com)

Earl Graves as one of those people (he is the founder and publisher of Black Enterprise magazine). She talked about how Blacks can be so niggardly (definition: stingy—watch the video above or look it up) and try to hold each other back from progress and success.

Divide and Conquer—It’s the American Way

Karen gives us a brief history lesson in explaining the racial categories we give ourselves here in America. The perceived origins of Latinos, Dominicans, Haitians, Blacks, and Jews have more in common than you might think (certainly more than I knew).

Digging Out of Debt

I can relate all too well to Karen’s story about going broke and having to downsize (for her she had to move back home; for me it was moving from a house to an apartment).  The key is the recognize when you’re going too deep in debt and to Stop Digging.

People First, Then Money

How many of you are familiar with Suze Orman’s mantra, “People first, then money, then things”? It’s not just a saying that she closes her show with, it should be a way of life.

In the book, Karen says, “ How you handle your money indicates how your life is going. If you have chaos on your job and in your life, your money is guaranteed to be a mess…. Money is an outward display of the discipline and standards of your life.”

Unfortunately personal finance is not taught in school. The only examples we have to go on as children are what we learn at home and see in our neighborhoods. We have to learn to respect our money if we’re going to be successful in life. Continue reading “Stop Being Niggardly! (And Other Advice We Still Aren’t Paying Attention To)”