The 4-Letter F Word

In 2012, I recorded a few of my speeches with the idea of making them available on my speaking website for anyone that wanted to hear my message. But after all this time I still haven’t listened to them. It’s not that I can’t stand my voice, but it is weird to hear–sometimes they play first automatically when I launch my iTunes on my computer (sorted as “Artist: Daree Allen”).

I’ve been working with a marketing consultant for the past few months, but now the talking is done. I need to start doing the grunt work: cold calls and other tasks to implement my marketing plan.

The last edits of my book were completed earlier this month and now its time for me to approve the final text and begin layout. That means finality (no more text changes without a hefty price). No turning back, and no “I forgots.” And this is the point with my first book where my layout person quit (even under contract).

I’m afraid.

Audio and video editing is such a time-consuming task, especially when you’re not terribly good at it. I have literally been trying to avoid this for months but the time is come.

I don’t like calling people I don’t know and trying to convince them that I’m good at something. That’s why I no longer pitch or freelance.

I never feel like my writing is never perfect when it’s time to submit it; in hindsight, there’s always something else I could have at it or should have done differently. I know that I’m going to get some criticism from book reviewers and others who think I should have done things a certain way (even though I asked for help and advice on the front end but didn’t get it).

I’ve been letting that ugly four-letter F word get in the way for far too long.

Fear.

fear-liar

It has paralyzed me. It lies about me and tells me things about myself that aren’t true. It makes up stories about what is going to happen that haven’t  happened before, and may never happen at all.

But I have to just do it.

fear-inaction

There are lots of people that like my voice. They want to hear what I have to say. Someone NEEDS to hear what I have to say. Couples will have better relationships because of what I wrote. Teens will not go down the wrong path because of my testimony.
I’m going to feel so much better when I’m done. The antidote to conquering fear of the unknown is to just get started.  I’m going to try to think of it as steps instead of a big project. Hold me accountable to finish. I’ll let you know how it goes.

What thing have you been fearing for a while but you’re going to tackle? An unpleasant confrontation? A breakup or cutoff that needs to happen? Make that move, and you let me know how it goes,okay? Then we’ll hold each other accountable.

Take that, Fear. You no longer have any power over us.

Now let’s get started.

Columbia Pictures' After Earth (2013)
Columbia Pictures’ After Earth (2013)

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Uncomfortable? Get Used to It

circle_of_comfort
“… but that’s the way we’ve always done it.”
“I’m not as good as s/he is.”
“It’s too hard.”
“What if it doesn’t work?”
“I’m not sure I can do this…”
“You want ME to… ????”

Whether you’re in a meeting with others or all by your lonesome, you will hear that voice sooner or later. The voice that doubts you. That second-guesses a great idea. The voice that can kill dreams.
If you listen.

Continue reading “Uncomfortable? Get Used to It”

How to Become an Amazing, Desirable Woman

Shanel has done it again.

I just had to post some notes from Shanel Cooper-Sykes‘ Ustream on Valentines night (she will post it to her YouTube channel later). She gave “10 Steps to Become a Amazing Woman That Every Man Wants,” and I couldn’t agree more!:
1- Cleanse your past. Write down your past lovers, think about your childhood hurts. Get it out and then get over it. Let go of the baggage.

2- Love thyself. Build a relationship with God. Be still and quiet your life down a little bit. Begin to seek God and you will build yourself and your confidence. Talk to yourself and tell yourself the right things. Use affirmations. Speak life. Explore your likes. Fall in love with yourself before you expect someone else to. Teach people how to love you. Exude love and it will radiate back to you.

3- Confidence. 97 of 100 men she surveyed said that the sexiest thing about a woman was confidence.  Lack of confidence comes from not knowing what you can do. So learn what you can do– know yourself.

4- Substance. Get something in your mind– have something to talk about. Educate yourself and know what is going on in the world. Can you have a conversation with a man without talking about sex or something of substance? Get some business. There’s nothing worse than a person that has nothing to do! Travel, expand yourself, do something to grow!
Get some substance.

Continue reading “How to Become an Amazing, Desirable Woman”