My So-Called Single Life, Part 1

In honor of Unmarried and Single Americans Week (Sept. 16-22, 2012), I’d like to talk about a few “singleness” topics this week and share some more of my dating stories and personal musings on singleness.

I’ve previously discussed my opinion that there’s nothing wrong with being single, but until about two weeks ago, I spent this year being “coupled.” Although my significant other (S.O.) didn’t give me a label to substantiate my role in his life, I can confidently say that we considered each other as S.O.s, and we were exclusive. However, that was a rare abnormality to be part of a couple. I wrote this week’s posts prior to that relationship, from my normal–and current–status as a single, unattached mom. Check out the first installment below, and come back for more tomorrow.

Are You Seeing Anyone?

My girlfriends who are married or in long-term relationships just don’t understand–or they sympathize, but I can tell they don’t wanna hear my stories. My pleas for a listening ear just to vent. They’re having sex on the regular, in love, or both, and they don’t wanna listen to my mess. How dare I rain on their parade!

My happily-in-love friends probably don’t want to hear my single life/single mom woes repeatedly, any more than I want to constantly hear about their lovely details (complete with pet names). But when we have the patience to listen to each other, they say the same thing every time, in variations like:

“It’s hard out here. But don’t worry, your time will come. There’s someone out there for you.”
“What God has for you is for you. Love will come.”
“I know how you feel. I’ve been there, but in time everything will work out.”

Now don’t get me wrong–I’m not depressed, and I don’t hit my friends with misery every time I talk to them–in fact I rarely do. But I don’t hide my frustration when it’s time to catch up and they want to know what’s been going on in my personal life.

When I relocated in 2010, I didn’t date anyone for over a year. But it wasn’t on purpose. It wasn’t because I locked in the house or uninterested in dating–it was quite the opposite. So after the initial question of “So, how are you adjusting to things out there?,” I’d dread the second question, which was usually “Are you seeing anyone?”

“Really? But you’re so pretty / beautiful / ________________ (fill in the blank with a positive adjective here).”

After answering that question multiple times, I started thinking that maybe there was something wrong with me, or that maybe I was doing to repel men, despite my regular involvement in fun, adult social activities.

I have since ditched that notion. Ah, if only it were that simple. There’s so much more to dating than being a great catch. And I have chosen to focus most of my energies on my writing career–networking and forging relationships that will hopefully lead to greater opportunities in my business and personal life.