Are You With the Right Person?

Throughout the month, I’m blogging 20 questions from this month’s feature article on O magazine. 
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Question 3- Am I With the Right Person?

I was on the Chat Atlanta show a few weeks ago (click here to listen) and one of the things a panelists said is that a lot of people suffer in their relationships simply because they are not with the right person. I’m currently single but my stance is this: If you do not like the person that you’re with, if you do not share the same values, if you are not BOTH willing to do the work to better your communication, be understanding and compromise with each other, then you’re bound to be miserable.

Julie Orringer* describes a sense of peacefulness that comes over you in dating relationships when you’re with “The One.”  I will let peace be the umpire of my spirit as well, as I wait to meet him.

Do you ever ask yourself this question? What is your conclusion?

*Julie wrote the essay for this question.

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My So-Called Single Life, Part 2

This post is a continuation from Part 1, in honor of Unmarried and Single Americans Week. I wrote this last year, but it is previously unpublished. I’ve experienced a relationship since then, and no longer agree with some of the sentiments here, but it’s still good work and may invite your own reflection and introspection. Enjoy.


Unhappy Holidays

Holidays are sometimes–but not always–a downer. People enjoy the holidays because they usually get a break from work, and/or they get to hang out and have quality time with family and friends. But sometimes I dread holidays.

Holidays exacerbate the fact that I am alone. Continue reading “My So-Called Single Life, Part 2”

My So-Called Single Life, Part 1

In honor of Unmarried and Single Americans Week (Sept. 16-22, 2012), I’d like to talk about a few “singleness” topics this week and share some more of my dating stories and personal musings on singleness.

Source: That Good Hit

I’ve previously discussed my opinion that there’s nothing wrong with being single, but until about two weeks ago, I spent this year being “coupled.” Although my significant other (S.O.) didn’t give me a label to substantiate my role in his life, I can confidently say that we considered each other as S.O.s, and we were exclusive. However, that was a rare abnormality to be part of a couple. I wrote this week’s posts prior to that relationship, from my normal–and current–status as a single, unattached mom. Check out the first installment  below, and come back for more tomorrow.

Are You Seeing Anyone?

My girlfriends who are married or in long-term relationships just don’t understand–or they sympathize, but I can tell they don’t wanna hear my stories. My pleas for a listening ear just to vent. They’re having sex on the regular, in love, or both, and they don’t wanna listen to my mess. How dare I rain on their parade!
Continue reading “My So-Called Single Life, Part 1”

Give Him a Chance, or Let Him Pass You By?

There are many opinions among singles about who should make the first move: should the man approach a woman first, or is it ok for a woman to express interest first? I believe the answer lies in not WHO, but HOW.

I am very proud of my friend, author and filmmaker Tomeka Winborne, who just released her first short film, “Pass Me By,” about a woman who almost lets a nice guy get away because of her attitude. Check it out and let us know what you think!

Single (Ladies) in the City

Photo Credit: Photodisc

VH-1 is premiering a new show called “Single Ladies” with LisaRaye and Stacey Dash, about a few single women living in Atlanta (think: a Black version of Sex in the City). I think I know a thing or two about that. Instead of getting into the (de)merits of the show (at least from the snippets I saw), I’d like to share some insights from some of my new “motivational speaker” friends about relationships, based on recent events I’ve attended, here in “the City.” (I received a good number of reactions the last time I gave some of my personal insights on the subject), and you may also want to check out one of my humorous personal dating stories.) Continue reading “Single (Ladies) in the City”

You Can’t Talk to Men Like You Talk to Your Girls

A friend invited me to attend a WATTS meeting (Women Aspiring Together To Succeed) in Snellville, GA on Valentine’s Eve.  The meeting’s theme was “Unraveling the Mysteries of Men & Women in Relationships.” Plenty of men and women attended, and I felt very comfortable and enjoyed myself. In this post, I’m sharing some highlights with you.

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Jack A. Daniels, author, coach, and counselor recently relocated to Atlanta, GA from St. Louis, MO. He opened by saying that yes, his name really was Jack Daniels, and then asked us to repeat the following phrase: “If nothing changes, nothing changes.” Simple, yet profound!
Continue reading “You Can’t Talk to Men Like You Talk to Your Girls”

How to Become an Amazing, Desirable Woman

Shanel has done it again.

I just had to post some notes from Shanel Cooper-Sykes‘ Ustream on Valentines night (she will post it to her YouTube channel later). She gave “10 Steps to Become a Amazing Woman That Every Man Wants,” and I couldn’t agree more!:
1- Cleanse your past. Write down your past lovers, think about your childhood hurts. Get it out and then get over it. Let go of the baggage.

2- Love thyself. Build a relationship with God. Be still and quiet your life down a little bit. Begin to seek God and you will build yourself and your confidence. Talk to yourself and tell yourself the right things. Use affirmations. Speak life. Explore your likes. Fall in love with yourself before you expect someone else to. Teach people how to love you. Exude love and it will radiate back to you.

3- Confidence. 97 of 100 men she surveyed said that the sexiest thing about a woman was confidence.  Lack of confidence comes from not knowing what you can do. So learn what you can do– know yourself.

4- Substance. Get something in your mind– have something to talk about. Educate yourself and know what is going on in the world. Can you have a conversation with a man without talking about sex or something of substance? Get some business. There’s nothing worse than a person that has nothing to do! Travel, expand yourself, do something to grow!
Get some substance.

Continue reading “How to Become an Amazing, Desirable Woman”